Friday, September 12, 2008

Bearing the load...


It's been about a month and a half since my breakup and I thought things were getting better...but due to circumstances which involve her with another guy after everything she told me about taking a break and sorting out her life, I've found myself at extreme unrest and anxiety. Maybe it's because she's 18 and he's 27, maybe it's because I feel like I've been lied to, betrayed, taken advantage of, unappreciated, maybe it's because I feel she's turned her back on Christ, or that it's possible she planned to be with him all along, or maybe it's just me...but I'm bothered. I don't mean to rant, but I don't think I deserved any of that. So that's the end, I want nothing to do with it, and from this point on I'll be staying out of it. I'm not asking questions, I'm not talking to her, and most of all: I take comfort knowing there aren't any situations in which I'll be obligated to see her again. The girl I once loved disappeared, became someone else.

So scratch that...I did mean to rant, and I feel glad I did. I know there must be someone out there who's willing to stick with a guy not afraid of commitment, who can promise that he will always love her.


I've only been working once a week now that school's started up again but I still found myself with plenty of free time this week. I suppose it's because the workload isn't that much to bear...yet. Third year has officially started in the way that...I'm getting assignments to actually work on. I imagine that sometime after the first midterms the workload will increase even more. I'm taking 5 courses plus a 6th online (which I have yet to start anything on) and it looks like I'll be able to bear this. This is my first time keeping a planner because I know I'd probably forget something as I have twice as much to keep track of and lots of team things I need to find time to meet for. I'll be updating my portfolio very soon. I don't have much done that's worthy to be put up just yet, but I can say I am working on an analysis diagram of the materials of a dismantled PSX controller. That'll be cool to show.


For those of you who have counted on my blog for figure photography, I apologize because September I only have two figmas coming (Miku and Kagami). I am, however, happy to report, that they are in shipping. Expect everything back on track next week. In between figure shipments I'll be talking about my design-related projects for school.


k said...

cheer up buddy.... hmm... no... cry your heart out and then cheer up. if you're at the pits, the only way from there is up. ^^. i also went through a difficult breakup before so i sort of understand your pain. somethings we just have to learn to let go.

Rin said...

Everyone is busy...
I work twice a week now from 5 times a week...when uni started!!!
Uni also started to affect my blogging life because of the overload of homework and studys...

Vaken said...

I've got my Final Year Project choking me too.. So try to think on the bright side when things get really dull ^^;

kairu90 said...

I am sorry about the girl issues you have been having. That sort of thing is one of the hardest pains to bear. Human contact with someone you love can be the best feeling in the world or be the thing that kills you.....

Other than that happy to hear about the easy weekly schedule. A lot of other bloggers seem to be having some issues with school and work, even me...cept no work XD.

ClearTranquil said...

@ Kairu: I did notice that. Alot have blogs have gone kind of personal, under construction, or just less and less active now that it's fall again.

And BTW: You're very right about my girl issue...I'm just having trouble coping with the fact that she's happy with another guy. I'm not able to be in contact with her at all. I told her that, and then cut myself off.

fae-desu-sketch said...

Oh man, sorry about that crap that your going though. but chin up~! Things will hopefully get better for you!
School: ohohoh yes school e_e; it's alays a pain, planners = godly.
I know we haven't talked much but usually have fun when we catch eachother on msn~! hopefully we can catch eachother when were not busy 8D.
-much freind love-
-yuki :3

Sandy-Kun said...

Ahh.. we have the same pain here.. T.T
Girls left without any feels tough.... my heart is still swollen..

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